When I chose to quit my job back in February, I thought that I had arrived. Or maybe it was this May when I was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower at night, my camera in one hand and a banana and nutella crepe in the other. Or maybe it was when I realized that I was not in control of anything and in fact God was in control of everything. What a relief that was.
Whatever my “ah-ha” moment was doesn’t matter I suppose. Just having one is the real exciting thing. After my emergency c-section back in 2007, the 5 week hospital stay, the return home with physical and emotional issues and a newborn baby, I had a road ahead of me. I had no idea what that road looked like and could never have imagined that it included Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression and anxiety, amazing support from my family, a photography business and a new awakening and a passion for living and life.
I never realized that life was a journey and that I needed to be actively living. What in the hell is actively living? I always have felt like I was in a fog and had no clue what I was doing or what my future would be like. I couldn’t tell you what career I would have or if I would still be living in Florida. I was definitely not actively living. I was coasting. And doing a piss poor job at it.
When I finally had my awakening after Bryce was born, it was strange because as foggy as I was mentally and emotionally, I eventually broke through the fog and came out with this clarity. It took time but I am now at the point where I am actively living in the present and aware of the future. I try not to dwell on the past but learn from it and embrace the fact the I am moving forward in life. Actively living.
My goals are daily and although I have an idea on where I would like to be in a few years, I know that God only knows what that looks like and all I can do is live out my passions and give Him all the glory in whatever I do or accomplish. Some of you are already turned off or tuned out because of the “God thing”. But let me tell you, I am no saint. I am broken and had so much doubt. Something I think is common after a wayward path and a near-death. But I am back on the road and so pumped to see what lies ahead.
So I guess it’s not all about the arrival. How you get there and what happens along the way is just as important. 
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